My weekend started with a very nice Father’s Day cook-out in the city with Urban Woman, Urban Daughter, Urban Son-in-Law and, of course, Urban Toddler (who will soon be three and become Urban Girl). It was a great evening in the city and the gifts and the good wishes were all welcome. Around 8:30 the party broke up so Urban Toddler could get home and to bed. Of course, I retired to the study with a glass of warm milk to read a good book and prepare for a pleasant evening slumber: not.
The evening only begged to get started. With Magic Hu$tle and Dopplegangsta, a couple of hip-hop locals set to take the stage at Pilot Light, the night called. Being the nerd that I am, I arrived at Pilot Light promptly at the start time which, at 10 PM seemed pretty late to me. Silly that I would think it would start on time. After exchanging “hellos” with Larry outside, I went inside.
The doorman couldn’t hear me when I asked, “How much?” and seemed to think I wanted to know about the show. He looked regretful when he told me it would be hip-hop, as if a man of my age would surely hope to find a Lawrence Welk cover band.
I settled into a comfortable seat and realized, of course, I was about an hour early. Nothing starts on time at the Pilot Light. A 10:00 start time means, “Start calling your peeps and see if maybe they’d like to meet at the Pilot Light in a couple of hours for the show that doesn’t start until midnight.”
It actually started just before 11:00 and in the meantime I was joined by this horny – and I mean that in a most unicorn sort of way – young woman. It turns out (I learned subsequently since I was too intimidated and feared being gored by her horn to actually talk to her) her name is Sara Bowles and I included her wedding photo, long before her unicorn days, from Java in my blog post two years ago today! Coincidentally, she was going to Pilot Light later that night.
So, Magic Hu$tle, which features a couple of members from Senryu: Zachary Fallon, also known as Playboy Manbaby and frontman William Wright (Lil’ Iffy) who spearheads this entourage, as well. It started with a DJ playing electronica which was so loud that the bass literally made me bounce on my bench. Then came the fog, a very large entourage and lasers. I couldn’t catch many of the lyrics, but I do recall one song, with lyrics repeated loudly by everyone present, “F*** Edward, F*** Bella, F*** Twilight. Sort of gives you an idea.
The event that I was present to see, of course, was the rap battle between supposed rivals Steve Wildsmith, music critic for the Maryville Times and Wayne Bledsoe, music critic for the News Sentinel. They are actually good friends, but you might not have known it by the insults they exchanged over three rounds. Every bodypart, perverse act and foul word presented itself for public exploration by the end of the first round.
These guys are both intelligent, well-read and articulate, so when their minds turned to trash, it was something to witness. There are youtube videos of the even (search for Bledsoe vs. Wildsmith), but they are too X rated for this blog. I’ll leave it to your own discretion. In the final round Wildsmith couldn’t help but show some love for his friend and, though the tip of the hat ended with him suggesting he might soon have a gun to Bledsoe’s brain stem, that may have cost him.
After two rounds of voting by cheers from the crowd Bledsoe was named the winner and walked away with the Key to the Kingdom, which was a large key on the end of a gaudy gold chain. He also claimed perhaps the first stove-pipe beer hat made especially for the occasion by Larry Crowell. Wayne used his acceptance speech to express his love for his friend saying that he could not use that vile language about anyone he loved less.
Magic Hu$tle resumed their hip-hop assault, but I’d had enough for one evening. It was near 1:00 AM and I walked home through the hundreds of people filling the streets of the Old City. After climbing the hill (where is that Marble Alley connector when your feet hurt the most and it’s 1AM?), I walked down Gay Street and found it pretty alive, as well. Suttree’s hung around 75% capacity and the patios buzzed at Downtown Grill and Sapphire. Sky Bar even had about fifteen or so people.
The square simmered more than buzzed, but the patios at Latitude 35 and Preservation Pub remained full. In all, downtown is pretty active at 1:00 AM, though you could rarely prove it by me. It really was bedtime for this old guy. Fun, profane, and very memorable night, though.